Sex, Death and Transformation: Cuddle Party

A large part of the sex dynamic is intimacy

One of the sad things about intimacy in most our lives is that we cultivate intimacy only when we are having sex or with people we want to have sex with. This transition seems to occur in puberty, when simple hugs and kisses become fraught with sexual tension. This transformation is an important part of growing up in the world but it also has the disadvantage of isolating us from non-sexual affection.

For many of us, it creates a hunger for touch which is not often met in modern society.  We all find ways to deal with that hunger. Those methods can be useful or destructive. To be honest, I don’t usually see the useful methods; I am called into help when someone’s methods are or have become destructive. So I spend much time mending, but not much time preventing.

Some friends of mine in the polyamory community have introduced me to  the “Cuddle Party” .  I’ve been to two of them now and I’m impressed.

I’m impressed because this activity fosters so many positive intimacy skills.

But the most important one, the one that would cut down on my work so much, is the promotion of self-understanding, specifically understanding what kind or level of intimacy I, you, he, she want or need. That piece of self-knowledge goes a long way to creating  a useful method to deal with touch hunger.

Your mileage will most certainly vary.



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